Add relationship guru to the growing list of roles that modern doctors play.
As we near Valentine’s Day, I’m reminded of how often I’m both observer and, on occasion, arbitrator of romantic pairs. Although couples come in a rainbow of gender, age, ethnicity and faith — love really has no boundaries.
I’ve come to realize there are only two flavors of relationships: those that are healthy and those that are not. And when they are not, I’m brought in as referee.
Recently, a patient with a neurological condition, often exacerbated by marital stress, seriously asked me if I would I mind writing a prescription for a “divorce” while her husband was in the restroom. Despite being stunned at the earnestness of the request, I gave her a reassuring smile and said, “There’s not a pharmacy or court that will honor it.” I get what she was saying to me: “I want out, I want something different.”
Yet, for every divorce prescription, I see other twosomes; such as the sweet, older gentleman bringing the love of his life with an incurable disease in for treatment as they fight bravely to delay death and separation.
These couples remind me of the invaluable role that loving relationships play in health. The memories, the smiles, the loving, tender approach to taking care of each other ultimately contribute to overall well-being and happiness. Medical research shows very real benefits of long-term happy coupling, including longevity, less anxiety and shorter recovery time from cardiac surgery to name a few.
So here’s the thing, there’s really no better medicine than true love. If only I could write a prescription for everyone to have it.
Dr. Sirven is the chairman of neurology at the Mayo Clinic.