Before the pandemic, Mohave Community College English instructor John Hansen had taught his classes primarily online, so when COVID-19 hit and classes shifted to virtual settings, Hansen wasn't nervous about teaching remotely. He was nervous about how his students would react when they saw him on camera on Zoom and realized he was Asian.
"I tried not to even upload a picture of myself," Hansen said.
Hansen's concern came from the increased amount of anti-Asian sentiment that has been seen during the COVID-19 pandemic. Stop AAPI Hate, a national coalition, received more than 6,000 reports of incidents of verbal harassment, violence and discrimination against members of the Asian American Pacific Islander communities from March 2020 to March 2021. Experts say some people of Asian descent are being blamed for the COVID outbreak.
Hansen didn't know how students felt about his identity, but he hoped it wouldn't get in the way of teaching.
Looks Of Curiosity
Hansen grew up in Burlington, Iowa, where he lived with his dad, a Caucasian man, and his mother, a Korean woman. His parents met while his father served in the Army and was stationed in South Korea.
"They got married and then they came back to the States," Hansen said.
Growing up in Iowa, Hansen said he was one of the few Asians out in public. That's similar to what he experiences now living in Kingman, where 2% of residents identify as Asian, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
He's also used to people staring at him in public, possibly because of his height: he's 6 feet, 1 inch tall, but said those stares pre-pandemic didn't seem malicious. But after the pandemic started, and people began looking at China as the source of the virus, Hansen said the looks became "a little harsher."
"They stare a little bit more and then if I stare back a little bit, just kind of look, it's like they're still holding their gaze, which is very uncomfortable, kind of and I don't know. It's just, it's just very weird," Hansen said.
These uncomfortable stares reminded him of what he experienced as a university student after the 2007 Virginia Tech shooting where 33 people, including the shooter, were killed and 17 were injured. The shooter was of Asian descent. After news of the shooting, Hansen said he felt people around him were acting a little weird and slightly different than usual.
"I think that was the first time that I really thought to myself about race and how other people are kind of perceiving me and how people can kind of lump people together," he said.
After the shooting, Hansen said he tried to stay away from people. He stopped riding his school's campus bus and drove himself to school. He also hunkered himself into his apartment.
"Looking back, it probably wasn't the best thing to do, but I guess for me when I was that young, I guess it was more of like, that was my defense mechanism, just to kind of stay away not have to deal with it in a way," Hansen said.
During the pandemic however, Hansen felt the stares start to evolve to something more than just a stare. During a visit to a store, Hansen said two men approached him and started saying racist things toward him. They also pounded on his car, before he got out of his car to confront them, and they finally walked away.
"I think that the tensions are kind of high and I don't know if you know, maybe Asians kind of acted as a scapegoat because they perceive us as maybe quiet, not as willing to fight back and maybe they're just kind of an easy target." he said.
Tired Of Staying Silent
As the pandemic continued, Hansen said he felt he couldn't stay silent anymore and decided to write an essay on anti-Asian sentiment for the National Council of Teachers of English. He was motivated to do this because he felt there wasn't enough awareness on this issue, and he wasn't sure if that was because media outlets weren't paying enough attention to it or if it was because people were unwilling to talk about it.
"With the Korean culture, my mom always taught me to kind of keep these weaknesses and these things that are bothering you kind of silent, and you don't really show these things to the people around you except maybe your family, and I think I was the same way really until the pandemic started," Hansen said. "Then I started thinking, ‘What is silence going to really do? How does that kind of really advance anything or kind of bring attention to the issue so something could, you know, positively change for the better.’"
Hansen notes the situation has improved since life has started to return back to normal and the country continues to open up. Still, he hopes people can learn something from this experience.
"I hope that people listening in can kind of treat everyone with compassion and respect, and just try to love on each other," Hansen said. "It's as simple as that. You know, the golden rule."
"For Asian Americans listening, I really hope that this interview or reading one of those articles that I've written, can show that it's OK to speak up. It's OK to voice those concerns and that they're not alone. I just think that speaking up can go a long way to make a difference and combat this type of behavior," he said.