Christmas music is one of those things that can inspire very strong feelings. From when we start listening each season to just what makes for the perfect holiday tune, there’s a lot to debate. But for KJZZ contributor Robrt Pela, there’s simply no contest. Give him the oldies.
I’ve tried listening to contemporary Christmas music. No, really. I’ve got the new Cher holiday album on repeat. I streamed Pentatonix's "Christmas is Here." I made it halfway through Ariana Grande’s Christmas record.
But I’ll be honest: When it comes to holiday music, I want a bagful of close harmonies and double-tracked counter-tenors and mezzo sopranos singing scale-jumping fills. I want '60s pop superstars singing "Jingle Bells." And I especially want old-school crooners. For me, it’s not Christmas until I’ve played "The Jack Jones Christmas Album" about 700 times.
I mean, have you heard the Ventures’ 1965 "Christmas Album?" It’s surf-rock sleigh bells that this instrumental group gave a reverb-crazy twist: They grafted popular hits of the day onto yuletide chestnuts. The record kicks off with a reference to the Ventures’ biggest hit, "Walk, Don’t Run," that slides into a kitschy riff on "Sleigh Ride." Kiddie favorites like "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" get groovy backbones from "Wooly Bully" and the Beatles’ "I Feel Fine," respectively. Even "Frosty the Snowman" isn’t safe, in a high-holiday mashup with the Champs’ "Tequila."
There are singers whose voices are built for the emotional pitch and campy mischief of holiday songs, and Lena Horne is among their number. In 1965’s "Merry from Lena," her five-piece combo puts real zip into some Christmas oldies. Her take on Frank Loesser’s "What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?" is rich and warm and maybe second only to Eydie Gorme’s recording of that song. Horne’s jazzy riff on "Jingle Bells," renamed "Jingle All the Way," is a left-of-center blues hall rendition that’s a real winner. She even convinced me to like "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," whom she casts as a naughty young buck with a drinking problem.
And then there are the really weird ones. Like "Christmas Bride," the all-time creepiest holiday tune ever committed to vinyl. From the Ray Conniff Singers’ "Christmas with Conniff," this one’s a sleepy earworm in which an obviously horny guy asks Santa Claus to bring him a wife for Christmas. OK, it was 1959, but still: Yikes!
I thought I was tired of "Silver Bells" and sick to death of "Winter Wonderland," until I heard "The Doris Day Christmas Album." Day does things with lesser-known beauties like "Snowfall" and "Toyland," and — ever the class act — skips the kiddie classics altogether; there are no Frosties or Santas here. And where did the song "Christmas Present" come from, and why haven’t other singers covered it? Sydney Robin’s elegant ballad is the perfect showcase for Day’s lovely vibrato.
The title song in Bert Kaempfert’s 1963 "Christmas Wonderland" album answers the musical question, "What does an inebriated trumpet sound like?" Kaempfert’s cocktail jazz, arranged around vibes and the orchestra leader’s signature drunken horn solos, fits well with holiday fare: "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" is an upright bass-driven shuffle, "I Heard the Bells" a delightfully jangly brass band party. The maestro’s original work, "Holiday for Bells," is a joyful jump laced with Yma Sumac-like sirens wailing in the background, and the crazy-cheerful "Toy Parade" and "Jingo Jango" sound like main title music for every Rankin Bass holiday special ever filmed.
On Glen Campbell’s 1968 "That Christmas Feeling," Campbell makes new stuff like "It Must Be Getting Close to Christmas" and "Christmas is For Children" sound like classics, and sells Roger Miller’s "Old Toy Trains" as if it were his own. Covering Willie Nelson’s "Pretty Paper" is a risk that pays off for Campbell in an Al De Lory arrangement that turns a schmaltzy waltz into a sonic masterpiece.
My husband and I have a long-standing agreement that I will only listen to "The Partridge Family Christmas Card" after he leaves for work. And listen to it I do. It’s the only Partridge record on which Shirley Jones was allowed to sing leads, and as much as I like Mrs. Partridge’s groovy version of "The Christmas Song," I really dig David Cassidy singing "Frosty the Snowman" as a funeral dirge.
But not as much as I dig Jack Jones doing a Vegas lounge-y take on "Mistletoe and Holly." His rendition of "The Village of St. Bernadette" is sublime. And Jack’s "Lullaby for Christmas Eve" — well, listen for yourself. And, if you celebrate, have yourself a merry little Christmas.
