The loss of a loved one can bring pain and heartbreak, and it carries a heavy burden. New Song for Grieving Children, offered by Hospice of the Valley, provides families a safe environment to heal.
Suellen Briley, evening coordinator at New Song, says it’s important for children to grieve so they can be stable, healthy adults in the future.
“Families that support their kids through the grieving process to heal, grieve in a healthy way, develop coping skills that can carry them through future challenges,” Briley said.
Briley began as a volunteer at New Song in June 2010, when she saw a short announcement in the newspaper. Now, she helps make sure the program, which meets two nights per month, runs smoothly and that there is an adequate facilitating team.
The evening program is broken down by age group, and a trained facilitator runs discussions and activities. Ekta Patel facilitates the youngest group, known as the "Littles," which includes 5- to 7-year-olds. She said this group is different from other age groups.
“A lot of our participants in that age group sometimes don’t really know the circumstances regarding the loss of their loved one. Haven’t really had the chance to process it because they are really young,” Patel said. “So a lot of the grief work I do with the Littles is related to play.”
Patel said grief is a complex experience, she said most children dealing with grief typically only have two places: home and school. She said at school, many children feel embarrassed and have a negative experience when talking about grief. At New Song, she says they feel safe and empowered. She sees the progress these children make.
“I’ve definitely seen a lot of my littles mature through the program, process their grief. And you can always kind of tell when they’re ready to move on because the way they respond to activities,” Patel said. “They may talk less about the grief and less about their feelings because it’s not impacting them on a daily basis as much.”
New Song is not only for children. Parents also participate in groups with trained facilitators.
Sena Wilson-Sheehan began as a participant at New Song after the loss of her husband. Now, she facilitates a parent group. She said she knew she wanted to come back as a facilitator when her role in her group changed.
“My role had transitioned a little bit from somebody who is really freshly grieving to somebody who is just able to participate and help support other people in the group as they were coming in,” Wilson-Sheehan said.
She said as a parent, New Song helped her talk to her children about grief.
“Just normalizing it for them, providing a safe space for them to talk about it, even to have humor about it,” Wilson-Sheehan said.
Wilson-Sheehan said she hopes her story can help others.
“Very rewarding for me personally to be able to help other people who are just starting out on that journey and hopefully to be a little bit of an example of somebody who’s able to move through it in a positive way and still experience joy in life,” Wilson-Sheehan said.
Another group New Song helps with their grief journey are young adults The group focuses on 18- to 26-year-olds who’ve lost a loved one. Max Whooley, the young adult facilitator, said young adults often struggle with loss, and some have complex family situations where they feel they're responsible.
“Young adults feel particularly alone when they’re undergoing grief. They’re often kind of in this transitional period of their life,” Whooley said. “You know where they’re coming into adulthood, defining their identity.”
Whooley learned about New Song through a friend in college. He was interested because, as a medical student, he realized medical school doesn’t always teach about when it doesn’t go as planned. He said it’s important for young adults to talk about grief because for many it’s their first time experiencing loss.
“Often the first experience somebody may have with significant real grief in their lifetime,” Whooley said.
New Song would not be possible without the help of their facilitators like Patel, Wilson-Sheehan and Whooley.
Briley said families learn about New Song through schools, hospitals and pediatricians. However, her favorite response is when families tell her they were referred by former families at New Song.
“The best answer I like to get is from a former family. Someone who says they went through our program and it really helped them,” Briley said. “So they would like to spread that word.”
New Song is a free service, covered by Hospice of the Valley, and there are multiple locations across the Valley. Families must enroll beforehand. The available age groups for kids and youths are:
- Littles: 5-7
- Middles: 8-10
- Tweens: 11-13
- Teens: 14-17
- Young Adults: 18-26
For families who may not know where to turn for grief support, "you know, let them know about New Song and we’re here and really happy to help and it’s a really impactful program,” Patel said.
