Like a lot of first-time voters, Sophie Stern couldn’t wait to cast her vote for president. But identity politics are complicated for Sophie, who has Down syndrome. Amy Silverman, Sophie’s mom, joined The Show to explain.
"Hey Mom, what’s an abortion?"
I choked on my cocktail.
"Um, what?"
"What’s an abortion?"
I put down my glass, cleared my throat and turned to my younger daughter. We were having family dinner on the patio of a favorite Phoenix restaurant, reveling in one of the first cool evenings after the hottest October any of us could remember.
Talk had turned to the election. Of course it had. Typically, Sophie gets mad when anyone brings up politics. She’d rather discuss the winners of "Dancing with the Stars," or tell us about her latest musical theater role.
But tonight Sophie wasn’t playing video games under the table or texting me that she was bored. She was listening. Maybe because there’s just no escaping the election. Even her beloved Taylor Swift is in on it. Maybe because she’s growing up. And because, for the first time, she’s old enough to vote in a presidential election.
I took a long sip of gin and leaned over, speaking softly into her ear.
"OK, so an abortion is a medical procedure a woman gets if she is pregnant but does not want to have the baby. There can be a lot of reasons for this. Because some people believe that a baby is a baby before it’s born, there are a lot of fights over whether it’s OK for a woman to make this decision."
I looked at Sophie.
"You know what I mean?"
"Yeah." She nodded. She seemed satisfied with the answer.
But I wasn’t satisfied at all.
What I wanted to tell her is that abortion is an impossibly complicated topic for anyone – but more so for her. And for me.
That if I’d known I was pregnant with a baby with Down syndrome, I almost certainly would have had an abortion. I didn’t know anything about Down syndrome then. The doctors just made it clear that it was bad.
I wanted to tell Sophie that I have thought about that every day since she was born. That Sophie and I — and her whole world — got really, really lucky when I didn’t have an abortion.
But I also wanted to tell Sophie that I worry, every day, that she will someday become pregnant with a child she doesn’t want or never intended to have — and won’t have access to a legal abortion. That carrying a baby to term against her will could jeopardize both her physical and mental health.
I worry about that for her older sister, too.
But the truth is that for Sophie, it’s different. It will always be different. Still, for better or worse, Sophie is now an adult. And while she may not understand all the nuances around the abortion debate, I didn’t either, at 21.
This week, Sophie casts her ballot. We’ve been talking a lot about identity politics, about women and people of color serving in office. On a walk the other night I asked her, What about a president with Down syndrome?
Sophie didn’t hesitate. She pumped her first. "I’LL DO IT!"
You’ve got my vote, Soph.
