Stacy’s at Melrose is a bar in Phoenix that hosts a talent competition called Stacy’s Rising Star. One of the competitors in the upcoming cycle is a drag queen named Crimmson Sparkles. Crimmson is a newcomer to Phoenix’s performance community — she moved here just a few months ago.
She got started in the drag scene by doing makeup for other performers while she was in high school in Colorado. But she had to hide her love for drag from her conservative family. It was just one of the ways she often felt like she couldn’t be her full self.
Crimmson is also a trans woman, and from the time she was about 8 years old, she knew there was something different about her, and she joined The Show to discuss.
Full conversation
CRIMMSON SPARKLES: I was confused why people constantly asked me if I was a boy or a girl. I always, like on the inside, thought that I was a girl, and then I brought that up with my family. I was like, “Why am I always being asked if I’m a boy or a girl? I thought I was a girl.”
And at the time, I was playing with Barbies and whatnot. And then my family threw all of them away and bought me Batman toys and made me to where I could only play with stereotypical boy toys. I wasn’t allowed to, like, do dance anymore. I was pulled from anything mildly feminine and was forced to do like track or basketball and stuff like that.
SAM DINGMAN: Wow. So they really rejected.
SPARKLES: Yeah.
DINGMAN: Ultimately, of course, you were able to come out. How were you able to find your way to that point, and how did drag play a role in that?
SPARKLES: So I was sent to a conversion camp in Kentucky for a little bit. I had like a shaved head, and I was very masculine presenting because I had to, and I immediately was like, “I’m a trans woman, and I kind of need to like, get that off my chest.” And that’s how I met, Shontelle Sparkles and Ethan Cross, who are my drag parents.
DINGMAN: This was at the conversion camp.
SPARKLES: It was outside of it.
DINGMAN: Outside of it. OK.
SPARKLES: I pretty much lied to get out, but Ethan and Shontelle welcomed me with open arms. And they’re basically like my second parents, if that makes sense. Like the parents than kind of accepted me.
DINGMAN: So you met them in Kentucky once you got out of the camp?
SPARKLES: Yeah.
DINGMAN: OK. Sounds like it was a very delicate time for you. What did they say that helped you step into your true self?
SPARKLES: I think they kind of knew when they first met me that I was trans. We did a few photo shoots together, and they saw how I lit up, and I felt like myself and I was comfortable.
DINGMAN: What kind of photo shoots? Like drag-related photo shoots?
SPARKLES: Yeah.
DNGMAN: It must have been a very profound experience to have them just recognize your truth.
SPARKLES: Yeah, it was — they don’t know it, but the first time I met them and we did a photo shoot and everything, I drove home crying in like a good way because it was the first time anyone in my life accepted me and told me it was OK to be expressive. For the longest time up until recently, I would constantly apologize for like, literally everything.
DINGMAN: So you meet them and eventually you end up back in Colorado Springs, right?
SPARKLES: Yeah. That’s how I met Daniel Aston. He worked at Club Q as a bartender. Just a very positive influence to like all the weirdos. And if you didn’t have a family, you had one when you met him. He helped me get on HRT. He helped me find, like, all these —
DINGMAN: Tell folks what HRT is.
SPARKLES: HRT is hormone replacement therapy. It’s either testosterone blockers and estrogen or estrogen blockers and testosterone.
DINGMAN: If it doesn’t feel too painful, talk about what happened to Daniel.
SPARKLES: So on Nov. 20, an active shooter entered Club Q.
DINGMAN: This was in 2022?
SPARKLES: Yes. And he passed away protecting the door girl.
DINGMAN: From the active shooter?
SPARKLES: Yes. And I was recovering from a surgery at the time, which I was supposed to be there that night. And because of that whole ordeal, I got terrified to do drag or to present myself in the way I wanted to be presented. And so I kind of stopped doing drag basically completely. I started masking myself when I had to go out in public.
DINGMAN: Like as in presenting in a more masculine way?
SPARKLES: And eventually I was forced to realize that the longer I stayed in Colorado, I was not going to either survive because of how other people are treating me or because of how I was feeling about myself. And so I basically, as soon as I had enough money, I abruptly moved to Phoenix.
DINGMAN: When you got up to perform again for the first time after taking this time off, do you remember what the performance was? How did it feel to do it?
SPARKLES: My first performance back was “Rhinestone Heart” by Slater. I was extremely anxious and nervous during the number, but as soon as it ended, I walked backstage and everyone was congratulating me and saying that I did amazing and that I was a great entertainer.
And in my head, I was just always nitpicking myself and pointing out what I did wrong. And they are like more so looking at like what I did right was drastically outweighing, and that I was the only one noticing what I did wrong. And that I was just overthinking a lot.
DINGMAN: Sure. When you do drag, you do drag as Crimmson Sparkles.
SPARKLES: Yes, I do.
DINGMAN: Since we’re on the radio and people can’t see you, would you be willing to describe your ensemble today in the studio?
SPARKLES: So I made this black Lolita doll type of look. It’s out of, like, pre-quilted, black velvet fabric. I’m wearing black polka-dot gloves. And these AB, like aurora borealis jewelry set. My drag mother, Shontelle Sparkles, also has a wig business, who made my hair, which is like a giant, finger-waved, like old Hollywood type of style.
DINGMAN: Yeah. And you also have a crescent moon, I think it is under your right eye. What’s the significance of that?
SPARKLES: So the underlying meaning towards that is there was many times when I did live with family or whatever that at night was when I would wake up briefly for, like an hour to secretly do makeup and do my hair and post the picture. And then I would take it all off. And so that signifies that I got to be myself pretty much at night.
DINGMAN: So you would wake up in the middle of the night, get in a full face of makeup, put on whatever clothes and jewelry and wigs you had just to feel like yourself for a few hours in the middle of the night?
SPARKLES: Yep.
DINGMAN: Well, if I’m hearing you right, it sounds like there’s a little bit more of an opportunity to feel like yourself now.
SPARKLES: Yeah, just a little bit.
DINGMAN: Well, I’m really glad to hear that. If you’d be comfortable saying — obviously this is a very fraught time for people in the trans community. Is it something you’ve focused on a lot? Is it something you try not to think about?
SPARKLES: Since that’s pretty much all I knew all my life, it’s a lot easier for me to deal with than other people. How I view it is that how people act is a reflection of themselves and not a reflection of how you are on the outside. I strongly encourage that if you’re going to be out and loud — which you should — to take self-defense classes.
DINGMAN: Have you taken self-defense classes?
SPARKLES: Yes, I have. Martial arts or how to shoot a gun and everything. I don’t own one, but if I find myself in a situation where one is around me, I would know how to use it. I have pepper spray. I have all these sorts of things that in case something does happen, I can do something about it.
DINGMAN: Well, I hope that you don’t have to. And thank you for sharing your story with us, really. Crimmson Sparkles, who will be performing in Stacy’s Rising Star Talent Competition. Crimmson, thank you very much.
SPARKLES: Thank you so much.
