It’s been a treacherous year for transgender people.
Between the Supreme Court empowering states to block gender-affirming care, and the Trump administration taking various steps to deny the existence of trans identities, many LGBTQ+ folks are feeling anxious about their safety.
But for those who feel moved to speak out or protest, there’s also a palpable sense of fear about being targeted.
With that in mind, Sam Perry, a writer and an Arizona State University graduate, has a modest proposal: Maybe it’s time for the bisexuals to step up.
Perry recently wrote an opinion essay for the Advocate called “We’re the Biggest Queer Group You Never See — It’s Time We Changed That.”
Perry joined The Show to discuss why she thinks the “B” in LGBTQ+ is the group we hear from the least.
Full conversation
SAM PERRY: I think bisexuality as a term is a little bit more ambiguous, maybe, than other parts of the acronym. I think people understand what gay is and understand what lesbian is, but — and now they're understanding what trans is — but the B and also the Q, I think, are just a little bit harder for people to grasp, especially if someone is not bisexual.
SAM DINGMAN: What for you has been your experience with, I mean, you were just alluding to it a bit, but the politicization around queer identity and the compulsion that, I know some queer people feel, to be a part of the fight for equal rights and visibility and things of this nature?
PERRY: Yeah, I thinkif someone is gay or if someone is trans, I feel like their identity is a little bit more inherently politicized, because those are the terms that people recognize. I think, with bisexuality, it's interesting because there's almost this choice to opt in or out, that I feel like gay and trans people don't get quite as much. Because people don't necessarily see bisexuality as real or as a valid identity. It's almost like it's a little bit more of a conscious choice that one has to make, if they want to politicize their own identity, if they want to make it a point to let people know that they're bisexual. And that was what really inspired me to write the piece.
DINGMAN: Is it difficult as a bisexual person to align yourself with other queer groups that do experience being targeted more for the reasons you were just pointing out?
PERRY: For me personally, I think that it is. I think queer groups, as a whole, are generally accepting. I think sometimes bisexual people don't know if they quite fit into the queer identity, especially depending on what your concept of bisexuality is. Like, people get very hung up on percentages or who you're dating and things like that. Obviously, if you're in a same-sex or same-gender relationship, you appear to the public perhaps as gay anyway, even if you are bisexual. So, it might be a little bit easier to be in those spaces.
If you're a bisexual person, that's single or that's in a straight-passing relationship, it might feel a little strange. It's kind of a dance, and it's almost like your identity is invisible, and you obviously don't want to go around just saying, "I'm bisexual" over and over. But it's kind of hard because it's, you can't expect people to be able to tell, right? Whether you're straight or whether you're bi.
DINGMAN: Right. I've seen some numbers where, you know, for all of the conversation in the news at the moment about trans and non-binary folks, that is something like 1.6% of American adults. So, obviously an extreme minority. Meanwhile, 4% of adults identify as bisexual. Obviously, assigning numbers to this is always gonna be a little bit tricky. But that's still a very small number in the context of the broader American population, but within the community, it is much bigger.
PERRY: The percentages are always interesting, and this is why I bring it up. [LAUGHS] Currently, the way I see it is because currently trans and non-binary stand out as the most different, right, from perhaps what the masses would think is normal. I do think that's why the spotlight is on them at this point in time. It's also partially giving them their flowers for their role in the queer community, right? So, I think it's kind of a double-edged sword, unfortunately, in that regard.
DINGMAN: Right. There's a hyper-focus there that they may not even have asked for.
PERRY: Right, yeah, and it could be used for good and for bad. And I think bisexuals almost have the opposite problem where we're kind of the silent majority, and there's so many of us that yet no one really talks about what it means to really be a bisexual person. So, to me, I almost view it as opposite problems compared to trans and the non-binary identities right now.
DINGMAN: So this brings us ... to the piece that you wrote for The Advocate, where you're calling on fellow bisexual folks to step forward a bit, step out of some of the invisibility and uncertainty that we've been talking about. Why do you think this is the moment for that to happen?
PERRY: Unfortunately, we're seeing such a spotlight on queer people in general, you know, like I mentioned, trans and nonbinary might be kind of the focus of the ire right now. I just want to caution queer people as a whole that just because the spotlight is directed on one part of the community, doesn't mean that spotlight can't broaden. And I think it also, you know, if we are acting as a community, if you consider yourself part of the community, we kind of have a responsibility to uplift, perhaps, the less powerful members of our community and to really stand by them.
DINGMAN: Well, what are some advantages you think bisexual people in particular have in stepping forward and joining the fight if they feel safe to do that?
PERRY: It really depends. So, a lot of bisexual people are in straight-passing relationships, and a lot of bisexual people are actually overly closeted. So, some bisexual people are out to nobody — not to their families, sometimes not even to their partner, not at work. Because if you don't have to come out, if you're in a straight-passing relationship, it's a little bit easy to let everyone just think that you're straight and to just never bring it up.
So, in that sense, there are a lot of bisexual people out there who experience a lot of the privileges that straight people have. But internally, you know, they may know that they're queer. So I think there is sort of an invisibility that can be used for good or could be used to elevate less powerful people in society.
DINGMAN: This is really interesting, Sam, I have to say. Beause I feel like you're talking about if you are someone who is not as queer presenting, but know for yourself, whether that's just you and yourself or you in a small circle of people that you are queer, there is a privilege associated with the fact that people who might have negative opinions towards queer people might not know that you are one. And that puts you in a position to start conversations, get involved in actions, that sort of thing?
PERRY: Yes, I think that's totally possible. And I think you can still be helpful to yourself and to others without ever having to reveal that.
DINGMAN: Yeah, well, so let's talk about the — and again I know I'm using probably a clumsy phrase here — but let's talk about the in-group dynamics of this. Because it sounds like you're also saying that, this is a moment where bisexual people who may sometimes struggle to find community amongst other queer people, or maybe just have not felt as compelled to try to find that community, ought to get a little bit more internally organized and and see what might come out of building those communities out a bit more.
PERRY: Yes, I would love for bisexuals to get organized because we have the numbers, right? Like, that blows my mind. I'm like, we've got the numbers. If anything, there should be way more bisexual people in these spaces because there just are more of us according to the stats, which again, who knows how true and accurate those stats are. People change all the time how they identify.
But yes, I mean, if being bisexual is the only queer thing about you or the only politically other thing about you, I can understand why people don't necessarily embrace it, or they don't think of it as a big deal. And I'm definitely challenging those people to reconsider. You know, when the other is under attack or when a spotlight is put on the other, it's just very good to understand how you fit into that dynamic and to understand how people see you. I think this is also a chance for those people who wanna be more engaged, to get together to either form their own group or to become a more prominent part of the groups that already exist. Because there are many, many queer groups that are already doing the work. And so just feel emboldened to be a part of these groups and to learn about the queer community that is around you and to really embrace that part of themselves.
